I knew this guy once. Smart as a whip. Reckless. Strange-looking. He intimidated me in ways I reserve for the holy men of religions - inexplicable, powerful and frustrating. It was his birthday on the day I (finally) met him after a long social media friendship. I bought him a tequila and pretended that we are old friends.
Years later I saw him again. He was with friends. "This is Frederika. She is the smartest girl I know and probably the smartest girl you'll ever know", he introduced me. I was falling with my bike for the first time. Did I feel flattered? Yes. Do I repeat his words in my head whenever I feel self-indulgent? Yes. Does he still have that strange power over me? Can he still make me listen without even calling my name or attention? No. He ruined his own glow. He became mortal. He stepped on his halo like newly-wed Greek men tend to mistreat their mothers' crockery.
That is the strange thing about well-intended compliments by these men - they invite you onto the pedestal. All of a sudden we are equals by their own permission on the only level that no societal norm can take away from you. Whether founded or proven or not at all, we are suddenly staring each other right in the eye.
That is the strange thing about compliments.
Years later I saw him again. He was with friends. "This is Frederika. She is the smartest girl I know and probably the smartest girl you'll ever know", he introduced me. I was falling with my bike for the first time. Did I feel flattered? Yes. Do I repeat his words in my head whenever I feel self-indulgent? Yes. Does he still have that strange power over me? Can he still make me listen without even calling my name or attention? No. He ruined his own glow. He became mortal. He stepped on his halo like newly-wed Greek men tend to mistreat their mothers' crockery.
That is the strange thing about well-intended compliments by these men - they invite you onto the pedestal. All of a sudden we are equals by their own permission on the only level that no societal norm can take away from you. Whether founded or proven or not at all, we are suddenly staring each other right in the eye.
That is the strange thing about compliments.
LOVE.
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